Dont Tell Me You Love Me The Poem

i have to admit the space is nice,
not having to talk 
or look people in the eye,
just at myself

i feel too naked 
without some glass to hide behind
reflections to disguise
all the scars 

i’ve made 
a nice big bed to lie in
closer to the stars
though it’s empty

honestly
i mostly dont want to speak to you
because there’s nothing to say
when it’s too hard to say no 
when i want to say yes
but know it’s not the right answer


it’s too easy to fall
back into old ways,
laughing
loving
like it makes sense
when it doesn’t

when these days
im too scared
to see what you’ve been doing
or who
or anything 
to remind myself all the reasons 
for letting go

though
in weaker moments
i can’t keep myself 
from looking back, hoping
for something hopeless

im still holding on
but i don’t know why
(don’t tell me)...!!!